Dog Eat Dog Nutrition Conference

    With many illegal (exceeding 3 ounces) Justin's peanut butter single serve squeeze packs in tow in my carry-on (technically, they're not liquid, they're suspensions, take that, TSA) my chaffeur (JF) left me at the gateway to hell (Miami International Airport) and boarded a stinky plane to Houston for the Food and Nutrition Conference and Expo. The 20 person security line took over an hour because every federal MIA employee moved at a glacial pace, so I had to amble over to my gate with little time for lunch, leaving me to consume the very worst sandwich of my life from a BookLink cafe as I stood in line to board. I also didn't have time to #treatyoself to Cosmopolitan/Style magazines before boarding so I had to remit to perusing SkyMall and fantasize about all the 400 dollar dog houses with radar capabilities I would buy if I was a cash money baller.
  JF's sister, also JF, graciously hosted me at her Houston pad with her resident Cavapoo, Chloe. Chloe modeled her spider Halloween costume for us all. Her bumblebee costume no longer fits, but she was pleased because this year she got to upgrade from six legs to eight.

                  The scariest Cavapoo purple spider you ever did see


We decamped to Escalante's, an "upscale" Mexican restaurant for dinner. I am perfectly happy with hole-in-the wall Tex Mex with bottomless corn chips, so the concept of "upscale" Mexican where 14 dollar tableside guacamole and and 12 dollar margaritas are the starting course strikes me as a greedy farce and should really just be called "expensive" Mexican. After gorging on tacos the size of frisbees, I felt like a wet enchilada the next day as I made my way to the convention center for the conference. The seminars are informative and thoughtful; they present current research and trends in nutrition. I even had the opportunity to present my Master's research during a session, alongside with real people who have real jobs and aren't 24. The Expo, however, is a circus of Big Food hijacking our governing body (the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics) and beating it to a pulp (pun intended). Monsanto, Coca-Cola, McDonald's, KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, General Mills, Kellogg's, Splenda, Kraft, ConAgra, Hershey's, Dupont, and hundreds of other companies were all in attendance with gargantuan lifesize displays of their efforts to keep America lean and healthy. While I enjoyed the free snacks (love me some Mcdonald's oatmeal and Three Musketeers bars) I couldn't help but feel there were snakes in my own backyard. While there was a lot of vicious arguing at the evening session on professional responsibility (http://www.expressnews.com/news/local/article/Dietitians-object-to-group-s-ties-with-Big-Food-4914965.php), I tend to a more benign opinion of the situation. Big Food runs America, and America runs on Big Food (and also Dunkin' Donuts, pumpkin spice latte GET AT ME). These companies are not going anywhere. If we want them to improve their menus and products, we need to pressure them to do so and recognize their efforts when they want us to see their progress at conferences like FNCE. Consumers need to rake through the muck and accept Big Food's promises and products with a grain of salt (but less than 2400 mg a day, thanks). Big Food can be incorporated, moderately and intelligently, into a healthy diet and we do not need to throw lamb's blood on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese a la PETA to make a statement. Viva la McGriddle. If you have never had one, you haven't lived. And yes, I basically threw myself at the US Director of Menu Development for Mcdonald's at the conference ("DANNY DEVITO, I LOVE YOUR WORK!!).

                     Dietitians just want to have fun. And grape juice.

I returned home with an arsenal of snacks from the conference, but missing a certain spaniel. I abducted her from Pinecrest today (Camp Grandma) and she is snoozing next to me wondering when I'm going to feed her the Libby's pumpkin that the Libby's rep gave me to give her.

Happily Ever After,

Mon and Mads