Raining Cats and Dogs

   The Miami summer is still upon us and late last night a torrential downpour trapped me, Madeleine, and my best friend ADT at Publix. Luckily, our night in shining Polo Ralph Lauren (my boyfriend, JJF) drove his chariot from our apartment to come to our aid, which gave us ample time to take advantage of the BOGO Multigrain Cheerios sale inside. Madeleine became damp and required a brief paw bath upon returning home since nobody likes little black paw prints on their monogrammed bedspread.
    The lightning and thunder shook the 35th floor windows of our apartment as I prepared yogurt parfaits (see recipe below) in the kitchen. Most dogs are petrified of storms, but Madeleine is so, aloof, (that's a nice word for 'dumb') that she barely noticed JJF and I periodically jumping when the thunder rumbled.
  This weekend, we acknowledged the Jewish holiday of repentance, Yom Kippur. Most lord-fearing people fast for 24 hours, but I take a cocktail of medications and Joel wasn't feeling particularly religious this year so our apartment abstained from starvation. Madeleine considered fasting, but decided against it since she claimed hypoglycemia. I couldn't help but reflect upon my sins from the past year. They are mainly as follows:

1. My thin margin of patience for traffic, service, or food to be prepared. I'm easily agitated and prone to screaming profanities alone in my car and then Madeleine looks at me disapprovingly from her perch in the front passenger seat.
2. My fear of microorganisms which prevents me from cleaning the house lest I touch a pathogen
3. It's REALLY hard for me to share my food. Like really. You humbly asking me for a bite of my pasta is basically akin to you asking me to donate my limbs to you.
4. Never ironing my clothes, all of which need to be ironed. I figure throughout the day they'll become unwrinkled as I move about in the day, right?
5. Not visiting my grandparents enough. They're both 88 years old, Holocaust survivors, and one is in a nursing home. I see them once-twice a month. I'm a louse.
6. Overspending on shopping. I swear Nordstrom secretes analgesic gas through the vents.

As grievous as they are, I like to think that overall, I'm a pretty decent human being. At the very least, I love and am kind to animals (probably more than I am to people.)



Monica's Late-Night Parfaits as Demanded by JJF

Ingredients:
Nonfat greek yogurt
Honey
Cinnamon
Frozen Fruit (we always have an arsenal, and it prevents the anxiety that comes with knowing you have 30 hours to eat your raspberries in the fridge before they mold)
Cereal (We like Kashi Honey Almond Flax, but since we are now the proud owners of over 25 ounces of Multigrain Cheerios, it was a special occasion)
Semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix honey, cinnamon, and yogurt. Add the frozen fruit (wash and de-stem it first), cereal, and chocolate chips. Voila. Your boyfriend will appreciate you and you will drift to sleep to the sounds of the cavalier king charles spaniel next to you chomping on Multigrain Cheerios.

Happily Ever After,

Mon and Mads